God’s Best

Being a single woman in a 13 year relationship at age 36 raises a lot of question to many; Often, I find myself confronted with secular questions that bothers some people even if in reality some their concerns didn’t actually occurred to me at all.  Sadly, the more I answer their “curiosity”, the more I find myself forced to explain further since my answers didn’t seem to fit the common norm, but what can I do? I am not in the business of lying just to satisfy one’s curiosity….that’s definitely not me.

I must admit, the 10 years in our 13 year relationship, I was always vocal on how I wanted to get married (take note: “how”)  I always dreamed of being married at the beach 

wearing my dream gown, with all my family & friends being present, with all the accessories /decors that I wanted, champagnes, etc..etc… I always knew then how I wanted to be married but I never actually asked myself if I really wanted to end up with the guy that I am dating? Or how would my/our life be after the wedding? Or am I the marrying type? Those questions never occurred to me, even if I always talks about how I wanted to get married to friends and to Adrian, I was so much into the wedding details per se without realizing further what lies beyond.

The truth of the matter is, even if then, I was always excited on all the works of getting married (maybe because I am an events organizer; have I mentioned that I already had my “dream” wedding ready on paper? Groom & execution nalang), in reality, I was afraid to enter the deed, read this: P-E-T-R-I-F-I-E-D!

Not just because I am a product of a broken home but also because I was afraid of myself — that I might not be loyal enough to make the relationship work, that I might get involved in an adulterous relationship if I get bored, that my future husband might loose his interest, respect & love for me & go astray if I happen to  loose my career (my life then was obviously anchored to my career), that I might not be able to put my future husband in my priority list since my career then was always my first love, that I might not be able to respect him enough if my pay check is bigger than his, that I might find someone who is more suitable for me and my lifestyle when I am already tied up etc…etc… I had so much useless questions, worries and fears….

I PRAISE GOD for the last  3 ½ years of my life for He stripped me naked and allowed me to go through so many excruciating experiences that lead me into the person that I am now.

Clearly, I was so fool and full of myself.  I praise God that I was disciplined and I super thank Him for leading me into a different path, where life has a way much deeper sense.

I am so thankful that God didn’t allow my foolish & “full-ish” self to change its “status” then or else I might now be reaping the consequences of my wrong decision, I may either be in the process of my annulment case, living in hell or raising a kid in an ungodly way. Truly, I was saved by grace.

Now, I can’t just be thankful enough for God’s saving grace (thank you Lord infinite times), for He not just gave me a new life but He disrobed me of my old self as well as all my fears & foolishness, and lead me to His word where I learned who my priority should be and what my priorities should be.  And I discovered that life may be tough but with Him, true joy exists!

God is truly good, for He blessed me with good people to be role models of what a Christian family should be like, I praise God for my D-group leaders, Bro. Dennis & Sis Liza,

   through them God showed me that godly joyful family still exists; Through them, God blessed me with an earthly inspiration, that following His will to only be with someone whom I am equally yoked with has its remarkable rewards, that command (take note it’s a command not a request) is something that is truly ingrained not only in my heart but in my whole being (Thank you Lord for saving Adrian 2 weeks before the one-year deadline & for moving his heart to love you more & more J, in case na sya hehehe); Truly, God loves us so much.

I praise God for Dennis and Liza, for it was through them that God opened my eyes & heart of His assurance of joy in my future family, I know that it definitely won’t be a bed of roses but I am sure that by His loving grace, it will be entirely be far from what I thought then it would.  I praise God for the simplicity that my d-group leaders displayed on their way of life even if in reality they can seem to afford more to what they choose to have, for them the simplest things is what really matters, they need not expensive nor extra personal effects nor the latest gadgets/toys for their kids, nor lavish parties on their special occasions, what matters for them most is being with the people that truly matters to them and just live a life the way God wanted them to live it….serving Him and sharing their lives, blessings and His love to others.

Dennis, a God loving & hard-working businessman, husband, father, d12 / d-group leader & ministry leader (sometimes Sunday School teacher & Marshall) who honours God and his wife with all his heart;

        

Liza, a godly loving supportive, hard-working, selfless & submissive wife, homemaker, homehool / Sunday school teacher, d12 /d-group leader and a doting mother with a very gentle & quiet spirit (have I mentioned that she’s a former Beauty Queen and with an IQ of a genius?! Take note: “G-E-N-I-U-S”); Their kids   Sophie, Dj, Josh and Ruthie, sweet, godly, loving, beautiful & very obedient kids who loves Jesus with all their hearts……….hhhaaaaayyyyyy……what else can I ask for???? Heaven on earth!!!

As you read my blog, please don’t get me wrong for I may seem to describe Dennis & Liza as people who seem to be too perfect! But like most of us, they are far from perfect, they too have their own flaws BUT if there’s one thing that I truly, truly appreciate in their life walk is that I can see (crystal clear) the fruits of the Holy Spirit in their walk of life, individually & as a family. I can sincerely testify that Jesus is indeed in their hearts.

I praise God for allowing me to bear witness of an earthly picture perfect family,   and for leading me to their group; Thank you, Lord, for using them as your vessel to inspire me as I wait for your Best and I know when that time comes, by God’s grace, it will be entirely different from the family that I get used to. And, I praise God that as I wait, He already planted what submission means and what my role should be (according to His word) in my heart when the time comes; Thanks to Liza and Cel

for being such great role models and thanks too to my bebe, Adrian, for being my guinea pig (my pseudo GB, for now)   While waiting for my GB, whether it will be Adrian or not, I pray that God will be using our waiting time to prepare us both to be the God’s Bests of our future God’s Bests, whoever He have planned for us.  Let it be His will not mine/ours and let it be in His perfect time not ours…. So for those who are curious, read this: I will not propose to Adrian, nor ask him to marry me or even suggest for us to live together or just have a kid, it will NEVER be an option, (ever or else lagot ako ke God).  Besides, I met a lot of great & gorgeous single men women in CCF who are also of age but their joy & lives are not anchored on having someone beside them (husband or just a baby) to make life complete, but still living life to the fullest knowing what’s really important — God…Very, very inspiring!

Whether my GB day comes or not, one thing, I will assure you Lord, I will stay in love with you, for I know in heaven I will still become a bride, but of a much better groom — JESUS

I love you, Jesus!!! All honour, praise and glory are yours!

Merci Dieu!

P.S. Paging, my future Ninong and Ninangs Dennis, Liza, Cel & Jun

Related Posts:

• http://ptl2010.com/2012/01/14/i-promise/

 

 

Sexual Purity

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

Four years ago I surrendered my life to God, I must say it was the toughest but the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life!

I lived a life as to how the world defines it or even worst; I made a lot of compromises without thinking of the possible consequences of my actions.  Living a pure life is non-existent in my life book, I used to believe that I should pursue whatever will make me happy and bring pleasure, even if in reality, I feel so empty and exhausted inside without me realizing it then, all I know was I never wanted to be alone but I didn’t know the reason why.

Sex was my one of my greatest pleasure and dependence, my relationships were defined by the pleasure that sex brings, I didn’t know then the importance of purity, my line of thinking was it’s okay to do it since its acceptable and open, before I strongly believe that life without sex is boring and sexual compatibility then to me was one of my top most important factor in a relationship since I thought that it’s a relationship binder, for the fun and adventure that it brings…..but I was wrong!

When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, slowly His command of purity was making sense to me, though I must admit during the early stages of my Christianity I was still actively practicing that part of my old life….but as I get to know His word, His promises and His love for us, slowly, I am taking a slow drive away from my active lifestyle, until such time that I decided to have a covenant of purity.

Taking the correct path is not an easy road to trek, most especially if you’re driven by your personal motives and not solely because we love Him, that’s why we wanted to obey.  I told myself, “Lord this is for you” but in reality the underlying unsaid motive in my heart was “Lord, bless me ha cause I am making a huge sacrifice for you”   (hehehe parang x-deal) but sadly that’s not how it works and in my first year, as expected, I failed about 2 to 3 times — F-A-I-L-U-R-E!  I honestly wanted to give up, thinking along the line that since God is very loving and merciful, He will forgive me anyway,  but whenever the Holy Spirit reminds me of what I learned in B1G 4 (I can choose to sin, but I can never choose the consequences of my sins), fear succumbed my whole being; Though lies were still moving then around my head,  and it somehow made me walk a step or two backwards for there was this certain shame in my  heart that made me feel uneasy and insecure deep inside….

Failing is never easy, but it is important that when we do, we have people around us to encourage and bring us back to the word (run away from people who will tolerate you and say that it’s okay), I must say I am very blessed to be surrounded by people who helped me pray for His grace, so I can stand with Him against my stronghold; And it did worked! God answered our prayer, in fact with a bonus.

God allowed me to get to know Him all the more so I may understand His words and commands by heart, as I become more intimate and learned to increase my dependence on the Lord, it made me fall deeply in love with Him (truly I can feel His loving presence in my life even through my toughest times, never did He leave me alone). And through that love and graciousness, choosing obedience is an automatic heart choice for all I ever wanted is to give Him honor, glory and praise.

The Lord answered our prayer by helping me to know His Lordship first and changing the motives of my heart on the covenant that I had with Him.  By God’s grace, obedience on the area of purity is no longer a stronghold, in fact by His grace He even answered 2 of my prayers in which I/we (and my Church friends)   have prayed for 3 years – Adrian is now a Christian and been attending regular worship service with me since July;  Though he have always respected & never made an issue about my vow of purity but at least now it’s a joy to know that he has a better understanding in that area and our obedience is not based on ourselves alone, but because we both love the Lord so much. I may not know if he is the one that God prepared for me but his spiritual progress is enough reason for me to be happy, whether we end up together or not, the fact that Christ is in his heart, is already good enough for me.

Purity for someone who used to live like me is not an easy feat but God is truly awesome and all powerful, all we need is just to seek Him, obey with a correct heart and love Him above all, cause if we do, His grace alone is sufficient enough for us not to be tempted and be able to deny the desires of our own flesh.

Saved by Grace.

Merci Dieu!!!

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. After you read this, you should delete and write your own post, with a new title above. Or hit Add New on the left (of the admin dashboard) to start a fresh post.

Here are some suggestions for your first post.

1. You can find new ideas for what to blog about by reading the Daily Post.
2. Add PressThis to your browser. It creates a new blog post for you about any interesting  page you read on the web.
3. Make some changes to this page, and then hit preview on the right. You can always preview any post or edit it before you share it to the world.